Post by Nicki on Mar 15, 2005 16:55:25 GMT -5
Disclaimer - Don't own anything, just having a bit of fun.
Notes - Ack, to be honest I don't really like this. I wrote it at about five in the morning and I feel like, while it has good intentions, the overall look is clunky and it doesn't run smooth at all. I give it you for your judgement.
Mini-Dedication - For Rogue, because it's longer than the last one, I think. ^.^
A year had passed yet she still couldn't believe it had happened. Every moment of every day she expected to turn around and see her, and she would be laughing and stretching out her arms to be cuddled and never let go of. Sometimes the fantasy passed on into her dreams but often it would morph into something with no happy ending. A re-enactment of the event. And even as she stood at the gates with seven red roses dangling from her shaking fingers, she couldn't help but run a million what ifs through her brain before she could take a step.
She drew in a ragged breath and pushed open the rusting gates. The squealing noise as the metal grated against itself made her wince and she very nearly took it at a sign to give up and run home, but something kept her going. Determined, she shoved her way into the silence of the cemetary and found herself staring at the rows and rows of headstones and tombs in all different shapes and sizes. Some were elegant angels leaning forward with a book in their hand and some were mere ractangles with a few words inscribed upon them. She could still remember the exact look of the tombstone she was here to see. It's texture ghosted past her fingertips and she quickened her pace.
There. Just seven graves away it shimmered with an otherwordly sheen as the moon bathed it in pale silver light. It took her five painfully long minutes to weave her way past the other lost ones and a sad smile fell into place on her lips. She stood in front of the dark grey marble and slowly fell to her knees, running a hand over the top of the stone.
"Hey, baby."
Her voice was cracking under the pressure of staying strong. In her life she had loved two people, and they had both left her. How was she supposed to just let it go? She couldn't. Even as the first tear slid down her cheek and a second one joined after there was nothing she could think about more than how much love she would pour on her girl when she passed away herself.
"It's been awhile since I saw you. I'm sorry, it's just been so painful and I miss you so much." She fell to her knees and let the flowers drop to the soft brown earth below. "I love you, more than you could ever imagine. More than I could ever imagine. And it's so hard and I can't do this anymore. I can't live without you baby."
With a choked sob she fell forwards and enveloped the headstone in a hug. Red energy flew down her arms with a loud crackling sound at the contact but she barely noticed, her back shaking as she let her pain out. Soft whispers flew around within the wind and for a few precious moments it sounded like the singing she had so dearly missed.
Sometimes she regretted choosing this life, knowing what she knew, because now she suffered for it with so much loss and death. Truthfully she didn't know when the last good thing had happened to any of them. Right at the beginning she had lost a best friend and it killed her that she hadn't just backed away and gone back to her life of loserdom and avoiding the popular girls.
"I am you know,"
"What?"
"Yours."
But to have never met her? To have never looked upon her beautiful face? She would give up everything just to make love to her once more. Run her hands over the milky white curve of her hip, the soft swell of her breast and tangle her fingers in the long silken blonde hair again.
Quietly now, she had stopped crying, she pulled herself away and sat back with her palms pressed on the ground just behind her. There was a saying that you would never forget your first and she agreed, but she would never forget her second either. Memories that had been suppressed by her grief stricken mind were released and images flickered past her open eyes. Snippets of conversations made her laugh and cry all over again.
The faint haze of daybreak began to blossom on the skyline, lilacs and corals spread out like watercolours. Willow Rosenberg found the pain lessen slightly as she finally learned what this all meant to her. She got up, took one last look, and walked away into a brand new day secure in the knowledge that people die but real love is forever.
Notes - Ack, to be honest I don't really like this. I wrote it at about five in the morning and I feel like, while it has good intentions, the overall look is clunky and it doesn't run smooth at all. I give it you for your judgement.
Mini-Dedication - For Rogue, because it's longer than the last one, I think. ^.^
A year had passed yet she still couldn't believe it had happened. Every moment of every day she expected to turn around and see her, and she would be laughing and stretching out her arms to be cuddled and never let go of. Sometimes the fantasy passed on into her dreams but often it would morph into something with no happy ending. A re-enactment of the event. And even as she stood at the gates with seven red roses dangling from her shaking fingers, she couldn't help but run a million what ifs through her brain before she could take a step.
She drew in a ragged breath and pushed open the rusting gates. The squealing noise as the metal grated against itself made her wince and she very nearly took it at a sign to give up and run home, but something kept her going. Determined, she shoved her way into the silence of the cemetary and found herself staring at the rows and rows of headstones and tombs in all different shapes and sizes. Some were elegant angels leaning forward with a book in their hand and some were mere ractangles with a few words inscribed upon them. She could still remember the exact look of the tombstone she was here to see. It's texture ghosted past her fingertips and she quickened her pace.
There. Just seven graves away it shimmered with an otherwordly sheen as the moon bathed it in pale silver light. It took her five painfully long minutes to weave her way past the other lost ones and a sad smile fell into place on her lips. She stood in front of the dark grey marble and slowly fell to her knees, running a hand over the top of the stone.
"Hey, baby."
Her voice was cracking under the pressure of staying strong. In her life she had loved two people, and they had both left her. How was she supposed to just let it go? She couldn't. Even as the first tear slid down her cheek and a second one joined after there was nothing she could think about more than how much love she would pour on her girl when she passed away herself.
"It's been awhile since I saw you. I'm sorry, it's just been so painful and I miss you so much." She fell to her knees and let the flowers drop to the soft brown earth below. "I love you, more than you could ever imagine. More than I could ever imagine. And it's so hard and I can't do this anymore. I can't live without you baby."
With a choked sob she fell forwards and enveloped the headstone in a hug. Red energy flew down her arms with a loud crackling sound at the contact but she barely noticed, her back shaking as she let her pain out. Soft whispers flew around within the wind and for a few precious moments it sounded like the singing she had so dearly missed.
Sometimes she regretted choosing this life, knowing what she knew, because now she suffered for it with so much loss and death. Truthfully she didn't know when the last good thing had happened to any of them. Right at the beginning she had lost a best friend and it killed her that she hadn't just backed away and gone back to her life of loserdom and avoiding the popular girls.
"I am you know,"
"What?"
"Yours."
But to have never met her? To have never looked upon her beautiful face? She would give up everything just to make love to her once more. Run her hands over the milky white curve of her hip, the soft swell of her breast and tangle her fingers in the long silken blonde hair again.
Quietly now, she had stopped crying, she pulled herself away and sat back with her palms pressed on the ground just behind her. There was a saying that you would never forget your first and she agreed, but she would never forget her second either. Memories that had been suppressed by her grief stricken mind were released and images flickered past her open eyes. Snippets of conversations made her laugh and cry all over again.
The faint haze of daybreak began to blossom on the skyline, lilacs and corals spread out like watercolours. Willow Rosenberg found the pain lessen slightly as she finally learned what this all meant to her. She got up, took one last look, and walked away into a brand new day secure in the knowledge that people die but real love is forever.
