All You Need

[Nicki]

Title: All You Need
Character: Nicki
Rating: G
Disclaimer: All mine, baby.
Notes: Written for the Last Night On Earth challenge. I don't really think Nicki has been completely in love with someone, so I just wrote a little piece about her wanting to. I hope that's still alright.

---

Love is complicated.

At twenty-two years of age I can't even say whether I've been in love, or whether I've just had strong feelings with the few people I've dated. How do you know whether you're in love? Is it that stereotypical tug in the pit of your stomach? The flutter of butterfly wings within your heart?

I died without experience and now I live again, given a second chance to walk this earth and do everything I can before my time is up. Around halfway down my to-do list sits love; falling in love, being in love, even losing love would suit me fine.

There are many different kinds of love and which one I'll have, I won't know yet. Part of me, the romantic part that's been hidden for years, claims it wants an everlasting love. The kind of love that will settle in my heart and keep me sane until the end of my days. Not exactly a soulmate, or anything gooey like that. Just someone who I can connect with, and someone I can wake up with for the rest of my life and feel safe.

However long that life may be.

And if I die (again) without ever having felt that? Well, it'll be a big disappointment. So I meet new people and find new friends, always wondering if someone will make butterflies erupt within me. Waiting for that one person who will be the last thing I picture before I die.

Love is complicated, sure, but I can't help but think it'll be worth it.

[Rogue]

lol, yeah, it's fine.

It's pretty good, but it lacked a lot of feeling I thought. It made me feel detached from Nicki.

[Nicki]

Yeah, I've been finding it really hard to write Nicki recently, and I'm not sure why. I sort of feel disconnected from her, if that makes any sense. In the beginning I created Nicki as a sort of alter ego, but because I've grown up and changed a lot, I don't really feel like she's a part of me anymore.

Maybe I'm just having a few mental blocks and one day she'll pop back up in my brain, who knows.

[Rogue]

Yeah, it makes sense. I made Rogue change with me. XD Because of that she's a really complex character.

[Jessy]

And I think Jessy shows a lot of evidence of my hormonal teenager mood swings.

[Nicki]

I'm sort of hoping that because Nicki's back from the dead, I can change her to fit me more. So fingers crossed that all works out. Or maybe Nicki's so different that it's hard to get close to her.

Heh, I never thought I'd be analysing my RP character so much. Weird.

[Rogue]

lol, get used to it XD