Post by Jessy on Jan 6, 2007 8:43:43 GMT -5
Ok, I got a challenge from Geoff, but I was in a silly mood so I came up with this crap in about half an hour.
A short time ago, in a galaxy called the Milky Way, Xander Harris, Official Scooby, gathered his friends around him to celebrate an ancient and sacred ritual.
The Star Wars Marathon. Forget the prequels, this was a day devoted entirely to Leia, Luke and the Force. Not to mention a large amount of heavy breathing and jokes about paternity.
Of course, when you’re sitting on top of a hell mouth, even watching the greatest films known to man is a perilous task, as the Scooby Gang found when, as Luke dived off the platform, the “NOOOOOOOO” still on his lips and Buffy found herself screaming with laughter in… Dagobah.
“What the-“
“Come you have. Training you must complete.” Buffy turned and groaned as she came face to face with the green, mean, fighting machine.
“Yoda. Great. Great, great.” Buffy began to wish she’d actually paid attention when Xander had spoken about this. From the looks of it, she could really use some background info.
Back in Sunnydale, the gang were looking worriedly at the now glowing television which illuminated the entire basement.
“This is bad,” Willow, muttered, as TV Buffy argued with Yoda. The sound was bust and they couldn’t make out what she was saying, but her hand gestures were making it pretty clear.
“What do you mean, bad? She’s hanging out with Yoda, smartest guy in the universe, no offence G-Man,” Xander added quickly.
“None taken,” Giles muttered, wiping his glasses and wondering exactly why he had come to this ‘marathon’. “But I would like to point out that he is a puppet!”
“Hey, don’t spoil the dream!”
“The slayer guy you thought was a demon was a puppet too, and he was alive.”
“He was cursed!”
“So? Maybe Yoda’s cursed.”
“Maybe we should stop arguing and try to get Buffy out of the movie?” Tara suggested quietly.
“I agree with Tara. If Buffy is stuck in the movie it will deduct from its monetary value,” Anya agreed enthusiastically.
“But how? I mean, can we do a spell? Are there spells to take people out of movies?”
Giles nodded slowly. “They can be very dangerous though. The likelihood is that more than one person would be removed from the film.”
“Darth Vader running around Sunnydale… Now that would be co- I mean, horrible and terrifying.” Xander hastily corrected himself.
“Maybe if we just let the saga run its course?”
“But there are almost two whole movies left!” Anya protested, annoyed at the prospect of having to spend even more time away from the exciting world of retail. Gripped by an idea, she quickly pressed the fast forward button. The Scoobies were bemused to watch Buffy moving through the story in double time.
“Oh my, is she kissing Luke?”
“And now Han!”
“Holy smoke! Leia just punched her! I’ve never seen Buffy get smacked down by another girl!”
“Hey, I did it.”
“Yeah, sure, Willow. Whatever.”
“I did!”
Back in Star Wars.
“Buffy, I am your father.”
“Actually my father abandoned me, my sister and my mother and ran off with some slut. I’m kind of over that anger though, so the whole ‘Become a Sith’ thing, not gonna happen. Now, where’s this Emperor dude?”
“I am here, young Summers. You are stronger in the Force than Skywalker himself.”
“Sure, whatever. You’re a demon, right?”
“What?”
“You’re trying to tell me skin that bad is still human?” Buffy looked at him sceptically.
“Strike me down, if you would!”
“Ok, then.” She didn’t even bother to grab the light sabre, preferring just to stake the Emperor.
As she reappeared in the sitting room, she found the entire Scooby gang staring at her.
“You made it end a movie too soon!” Xander was the first to speak in a scandalised tone.
“Whaddaya mean? I had to get out of there.”
“We’re not speaking to you.” The gang, minus Buffy, all stood up and left, leaving a pissed off Slayer alone with the three star wars movies on video.
You can guess the rest.
A short time ago, in a galaxy called the Milky Way, Xander Harris, Official Scooby, gathered his friends around him to celebrate an ancient and sacred ritual.
The Star Wars Marathon. Forget the prequels, this was a day devoted entirely to Leia, Luke and the Force. Not to mention a large amount of heavy breathing and jokes about paternity.
Of course, when you’re sitting on top of a hell mouth, even watching the greatest films known to man is a perilous task, as the Scooby Gang found when, as Luke dived off the platform, the “NOOOOOOOO” still on his lips and Buffy found herself screaming with laughter in… Dagobah.
“What the-“
“Come you have. Training you must complete.” Buffy turned and groaned as she came face to face with the green, mean, fighting machine.
“Yoda. Great. Great, great.” Buffy began to wish she’d actually paid attention when Xander had spoken about this. From the looks of it, she could really use some background info.
Back in Sunnydale, the gang were looking worriedly at the now glowing television which illuminated the entire basement.
“This is bad,” Willow, muttered, as TV Buffy argued with Yoda. The sound was bust and they couldn’t make out what she was saying, but her hand gestures were making it pretty clear.
“What do you mean, bad? She’s hanging out with Yoda, smartest guy in the universe, no offence G-Man,” Xander added quickly.
“None taken,” Giles muttered, wiping his glasses and wondering exactly why he had come to this ‘marathon’. “But I would like to point out that he is a puppet!”
“Hey, don’t spoil the dream!”
“The slayer guy you thought was a demon was a puppet too, and he was alive.”
“He was cursed!”
“So? Maybe Yoda’s cursed.”
“Maybe we should stop arguing and try to get Buffy out of the movie?” Tara suggested quietly.
“I agree with Tara. If Buffy is stuck in the movie it will deduct from its monetary value,” Anya agreed enthusiastically.
“But how? I mean, can we do a spell? Are there spells to take people out of movies?”
Giles nodded slowly. “They can be very dangerous though. The likelihood is that more than one person would be removed from the film.”
“Darth Vader running around Sunnydale… Now that would be co- I mean, horrible and terrifying.” Xander hastily corrected himself.
“Maybe if we just let the saga run its course?”
“But there are almost two whole movies left!” Anya protested, annoyed at the prospect of having to spend even more time away from the exciting world of retail. Gripped by an idea, she quickly pressed the fast forward button. The Scoobies were bemused to watch Buffy moving through the story in double time.
“Oh my, is she kissing Luke?”
“And now Han!”
“Holy smoke! Leia just punched her! I’ve never seen Buffy get smacked down by another girl!”
“Hey, I did it.”
“Yeah, sure, Willow. Whatever.”
“I did!”
Back in Star Wars.
“Buffy, I am your father.”
“Actually my father abandoned me, my sister and my mother and ran off with some slut. I’m kind of over that anger though, so the whole ‘Become a Sith’ thing, not gonna happen. Now, where’s this Emperor dude?”
“I am here, young Summers. You are stronger in the Force than Skywalker himself.”
“Sure, whatever. You’re a demon, right?”
“What?”
“You’re trying to tell me skin that bad is still human?” Buffy looked at him sceptically.
“Strike me down, if you would!”
“Ok, then.” She didn’t even bother to grab the light sabre, preferring just to stake the Emperor.
As she reappeared in the sitting room, she found the entire Scooby gang staring at her.
“You made it end a movie too soon!” Xander was the first to speak in a scandalised tone.
“Whaddaya mean? I had to get out of there.”
“We’re not speaking to you.” The gang, minus Buffy, all stood up and left, leaving a pissed off Slayer alone with the three star wars movies on video.
You can guess the rest.
